You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
