i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
