ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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