i just wanna soil my oats bro
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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