her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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