btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
