Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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