I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
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swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
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I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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