its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
