Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
