they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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