You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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