think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
