Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Randomize
