I feel like abortions should bother me more
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
