i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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