i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
