woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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