I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
