I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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