you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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