She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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