Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
you will always have a special place in my vag
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Randomize
