its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
soo... how was my night?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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