i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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