Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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