Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
