What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
