did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
