When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
