and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
