just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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