Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
