yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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