I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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