I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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