check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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