wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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