I wanna passion pit in your ass
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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