Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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