Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
BRING THE BAGELS
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
