Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
