I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
