do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
