Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
