If that was your dad, he is hot
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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