It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
