Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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