wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
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