South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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