its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
