ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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