so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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