FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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