hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
the liver wants what the liver wants
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
