she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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