whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
