Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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