I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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