If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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