Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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