Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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